These announcements actually appeared in a church bulletin
or were announced verbally in a church service:
Miss Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be
speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight
and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday
at 8PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance
to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't
forget your husbands.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been
canceled due to a conflict.
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water";
the sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors
for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests
tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
Don't let worry kill you off -- let the Church help.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the
church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will
be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation
who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other item
to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
For those of you who have children and don't know it,
we have a nursery downstairs.
Potluck Supper Sunday at 5PM -- prayer and medication
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every
kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at
10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the
B.S. is done.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at
7PM. Please use the back door.
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's
Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7PM. The Congregation is invited
to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7PM at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge -- Now Up Yours."
Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
Announcement in the church bulletin for National Prayer
and Fasting conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and
Prayer Conference includes meals."