Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it 
          actually turns on?
        If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called 
          a bullshit?
        If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it 
          runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
        Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains 
          neither grapes, nor nuts?
        If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there 
          a song about him?
        Why is it called a "drive through" if you 
          have to stop?
        Why does mineral water that has "trickled through 
          mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?
        Why are Softballs hard?
        Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, 
          credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?
        If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio 
          out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
        Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the 
          time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the 
          bathroom is?
        Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you 
          plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.
        Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?
        Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all 
          fours? They're both dogs!
        Can blind people see their dreams?
        Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at 
          least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
        Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
        Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving 
          a dump?
        Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty 
          is an egg?
        Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
        Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained 
          to the counter?
        If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come 
          from morons?
        Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out 
          of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
        How come you press harder on a remote control when you 
          know the battery is dead?
        If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green 
          or a lemon called a yellow?
        If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread 
          always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered 
          bread on top of a cat?
        If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still 
          #2?
        What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?
        Where's the egg in an egg roll?
        Why aren't blue berries blue?
        Where is the lead in a lead pencil?
        Why is Greenland called green when it is covered in 
          ice?