The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss
for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation.
Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer
magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They
had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply
religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva
Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against
her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school
However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living
with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married
Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken
Schitt. Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, Were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull
Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned
from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
So now when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt," you
can correct them.