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Stupid Facts: Rules of Combat

  • If the enemy is in range, so are you.

  • Incoming fire has the right of way.

  • Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.

  • The easy way is always mined.

  • Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

  • Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.

  • The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions:
    a. When you're ready for them.
    b. When you're not ready for them.

  • Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.

  • If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you. Claymores are labeled "This side toward enemy" for a reason.

  • If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

  • Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.

  • The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

  • When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is *not* our friend.

  • If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.

  • When in doubt empty the magazine.

  • Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.

  • Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.

  • Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

  • Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

  • A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

  • Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.

  • The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.

  • Five second fuses only last three seconds.

  • It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

  • Tracers work both ways.

  • If the brass says it is a routine mission... bring extra ammo.