Stupid Facts: Rules of Combat

• If the enemy is in range, so are you.
  
  
• Incoming fire has the right of way.
  
  
• Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.
  
  
• The easy way is always mined.
  
  
• Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
  
  
• Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
  
  
• The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions:
  a. When you're ready for them.
  b. When you're not ready for them.
  
  
• Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
  
  
• If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you. Claymores are labeled "This side toward enemy" for a reason.
  
  
• If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
  
  
• Don't draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
  
  
• The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
  
  
• When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is *not* our friend.
  
  
• If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
  
  
• When in doubt empty the magazine.
  
  
• Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you.
  
  
• Anything you do can get you shot. Including doing nothing.
  
  
• Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
  
  
• Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
  
  
• A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
  
  
• Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
  
  
• The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
  
  
• Five second fuses only last three seconds.
  
  
• It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
  
  
• Tracers work both ways.
  
  
• If the brass says it is a routine mission... bring extra ammo.