Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other
sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used
to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the
door open again.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling
McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled
with vegetable soup.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot grease.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr.
on a Dr. Pepper can.
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.
The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet
of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the
Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only
one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview
portion of "Jeopardy!"
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
this plan just might work.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
for a while.
"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like
a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but
a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell
butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.
It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had
ever seen before.
The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee
(D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made
to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings
on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because
of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a
formerly surcharge-free ATM.
The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric
fan set on medium.
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as
if she were a garbage truck backing up.
She was as easy as the "TV Guide" crossword.
Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in
any pH cleanser.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation
thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it
to the wall.
Every minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
The horizon swallowed the setting sun like a dog sucking an egg, but