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Outrageous Excuses For being Late to Work

  1. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.

  2. My husband thinks it's funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work.

  3. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again.

  4. I got locked in my trunk by my son.

  5. My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work.

  6. A gurney fell out of an ambulance and delayed traffic.

  7. I was attacked by a raccoon and had to stop by the hospital to make sure it wasn't rabid.

  8. I feel like I'm in everyone's way if I show up on time.

  9. My father didn't wake me up.

  10. A groundhog bit my bike tire and made it flat.

  11. My driveway washed away in the rain last night.

  12. I had to go to bingo.