"My girlfriend always laughs during sex --no matter what she's reading."
Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
"Don't knock masturbation — it's sex with someone I love."
"Lord, grant me chastity and continence... but not yet."
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
"Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it."
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
"My family never raised me to have a vagina."
"An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex."
"Did you ever notice the people who are most adamantly against abortions are people you wouldn't want to f*#k in the first place?"
"Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven."
"One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other."
"Sex concentrates on what is on the outside of the individual. It's funny because I think it's better inside."
"When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows."