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Contemporary Vocabulary

  1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

  2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

  3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

  4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for getting laid.

  5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

  6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

  7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

  8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

  9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

  10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

  11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

  12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

  13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

  14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

  15. Arachnoleptic! fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

  16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

  17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.