You Know You're Trailer Trash If...

• The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

• You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

• You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

• You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

• Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people".

• You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

• Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey watch this!"

• You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

• Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

• Your junior prom had a daycare.

• You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."

• You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

• The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

• You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

• One of your kids was born on a pool table.

• You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

• You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

• You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.