More excerpts from student essays.
Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History calls
people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At
Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished
himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because
they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who
would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the
Dames. King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery. King Harold mustarded
his troops before the Battle of Hastings. Joan of Arc was cannonized
by Bernard Shaw, and victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their
necks. Finally the Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged
twice for the same offense.
In midevil times most of the people were alliterate.
The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and
verses and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell,
who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals
felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the
church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible
death, being excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello's
interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance.
It was an age of great invention and discoveries. Gutenberg invented
the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented
cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.
Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot
The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry
VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen
Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success.
When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted,
"hurrah." Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespear.
Shakespear never made much money and is famous only because of his plays.
He lived at Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies,
In one of Shakespear's famous plays, Hamlet rations
out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another,
Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the King by attacking
his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing
at the same time as Shakespear was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey
Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost.
Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.