Two vultures board an airplane; each is carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only
one carrion allowed per passenger."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal". The other goes to a
family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends
a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture,
she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've
These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a
small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers
from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition
was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the
rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug
in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars
and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can
prevent florist friars.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced
an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which
made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him what? A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.