Male or Female Nouns

Certain nouns in the English language should be considered male or female. Here are some and why...

SWISS ARMY KNIFE
Male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS
Female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

TIRE
Male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON
Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.

SPONGES
Female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGE
Female, because it is always getting hit on.

SHOE
Male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

COPIER
Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

ZIPLOC BAGS
Male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

SUBWAY
Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS
Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER
Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL
Female...Ha! You thought I'd say male. But consider, it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.